VDear VillainsA parodic advice column, with reservations

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GTo Whoever Publishes This Column — Please run this.Modern Manhattan high society brushing against OsCorp's shadow — the Marvel New York of lavish ceremonies, social performance, and chaos lurking just beneath the etiquette. · 2026-05-19LI'm writing because I need a definitive answer, and I suspect you're the only person in Metropolis who will give me one without hedging.Contemporary boardroom Metropolis — the LexCorp Foundation charity gala circuit, Silver Age Comic register. · 2026-05-19RI work at a midsized company that is doing something — not illegal, but harmful, and they know it's harmful.Office parking garage, six p.m., the lights just coming on · 2026-05-17TMy cat will not stop bringing me dead mice.Suburban backyard, autumn mornings, dew on the deck · 2026-05-17RMy partner of seven years had an affair.Empty kitchen, two o'clock in the morning · 2026-05-17
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Parody / Satire Notice

A parody column. The heroes and villains here are trademarks of their owners and appear under a parody/satire framing — not affiliated, not endorsed. Every letter is paraphrased into the columnist's own century and never run verbatim; every reply is fiction. Nobody famous actually answered your mail.