▸ Column · Post-apocalyptic settlement community (Alexandria-era Walking Dead world), modern grounded comic register
RICK GRIMES replies.
Replied to by Rick Grimes, with a rebuttal from Negan.
The letter
Someone in the community vouched for a guy named Sawyer and set us up. We agreed to meet at the trading post common area at seven — nothing fancy, just a get-to-know-you. I showed up on time, found a table, got myself a drink, and sat there for close to an hour while my check-in notes went completely unanswered. He finally walked in around eight, slid into the seat, and immediately launched into some debate he'd been having about the last supply run. Not one word about being late. Not even a quick sorry. When I mentioned I'd been sitting there almost an hour, he laughed and said something like "you found a way to keep busy though, right?"
The maddening part is that once we actually started talking, it was genuinely good. Really good, honestly. And now he's been sending notes like the whole entrance never happened. I don't know. Am I being too hard on him for wanting to just skip a second meetup? Am I a hardliner for that?
— Waiting in Alexandria
Rick Grimes replies
I'm gonna be honest with you about something first: I've been the man who showed up late and didn't say sorry. Not on a date — to people who were counting on me, people who needed me somewhere and I wasn't, and I told myself the reasons were good enough that the apology could wait or be skipped. They weren't. And the folks who kept that ledger were right to.
So here's what I see in what you wrote. He didn't stroll in an hour late and forget to apologize because he was nervous or distracted. He strolled in and launched a story. That's a man who looked at the hour you waited and decided it wasn't his bill to pay, at least not out loud. When you told him, he laughed. That wasn't a bad joke — that was how he handles getting caught short. He put it back on you.
The conversation being good — I believe you. That part's real. But a good conversation and the willingness to own what you cost someone are two different things, and you already noticed he's only got one of them.
You're not a hardliner. Wanting someone who can say "I was wrong, that was on me" — that's not a high bar. It's the bare minimum for building anything at all with another person. You can give him another round with your eyes open to what he already showed you. That's mercy, and it's a choice you make on purpose. But go in knowing. Don't let the good hour talk you out of what the first hour was.
— Rick Grimes
Negan weighs in
Okay but Rick got so wrapped up in what Sawyer revealed about himself that he glossed right over what actually happened. You stayed for the whole date. The conversation was great. His little "you kept busy" line got an eye-roll and then you both kept right on talking. That's you running a full seminar on what happens when he shows up an hour late: nothing.
So before you cancel — and again, your call — pick a road and actually take it. Tell him, plainly, that next time starts on time or there is no next time. Or cut him loose and say the actual reason out loud instead of going quiet. Both are fine. But disappearing without a word? That's two people ducking the same conversation. He's not the only one.
— Negan
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