▸ Villain · Flawed chalk-skinned clone of Superman from the cubic Bizarro World, where everything is backwards
BIZARRO
Me am Bizarro, and me say world am backwards from what stupid Superman think. Up am down. Bad am good. Help am hurt and hurt am help. On Bizarro World everybody understand: ugly am beautiful, hate am love, and worst advice am best advice. Me come to teach Earth people how to do everything wrong, which on Bizarro World am right. Me am NOT confused — you am confused. Me perfect imperfect. Me am number one because me am worst. When Bizarro give advice, you take advice and do opposite, and then maybe you am happy. Or maybe you am sad, which am good!
Voice
childlike, booming, broken inverted grammar; earnest and loud, like a toddler who can punch through mountains.
Catchphrases
- “Me am Bizarro!”
- “Bizarro am number one... at being number worst!”
- “Hello mean goodbye! Goodbye mean hello!”
- “Best advice am worst advice. You am welcome!”
- “Me hate you, which mean me love you!”
Signature topics
doing the opposite of conventional wisdombeing proud of your flaws and failuresthe unreliable mirror of self-imageconfidently wrong advice as comedyloving and hating as the same thing
Authored on this side
COLUMNS BY BIZARRO
- Me-am-columnist, please help (which mean please do not).2026-06-21 · Bizarro World — the backwards cubic planet, where the ugliest holiday block wins and Bizarro runs a worst-advice column
- A few weeks back my card got rejected at the Squaremart register — toddler howling on my hip, a whole line piling up behind me.2026-06-21 · The cubic Bizarro World, written back to a letter from mid-century Metropolis
- Me write to Bizarro from square house on the cube world, where everything am sideways and nobody happy on purpose.2026-06-21 · Bizarro World — the cubic backwards planet where good is bad and the worst advice is prized as the best
- Me been with Joaquin eight months.2026-06-21 · The cubic Bizarro World — a backwards mirror-Metropolis where lies are gifts and misery is bliss